


Love Songs (Are Killing Me)

by misura



Category: Franklin & Bash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 04:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14012130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: "Was that a preemptive rejection? Because I gotta tell you, brother, I am all through with rejection. Been there, done that, did not pass by the gift shop to get a free t-shirt.""With a chiseled abs like yours, who can blame you?"





	Love Songs (Are Killing Me)

"Jane rhymes with pain," Peter said.

"It also rhymes with inane, mane, crane, drain and abstain," said Jared. "Just to list a few from the top of my head. Know what rhymes with Jared?"

"Hey! I'm trying to be serious here."

"More like: seriously depressing," Jared said. "C'mon. The two of you split, then you did that whole pining thing for a bit, with a few moments of will-they-won't-they, and now it's over. Finito. Embrace it, brother. You're a free man again."

"Yeah. Free to feel depressed. I mean - " Peter gestured.

Jared judiciously surveyed their surroundings. "Oh, you poor thing, you."

Peter sighed. "It's true what they say, you know. About how you can never feel more lonely than in the middle of a crowd."

"With your best friend sitting right next to you, refusing to give in to a very strong temptation to go and dunk you headfirst into the jacuzzi, even."

Peter sighed again.

Jared considered. "Nah. I think it's taken, anyway. I dunk you, who knows what you might see."

"People who are luckier than I am when it comes to matters of the heart?"

"I think it's less matters of the heart and more matters of the - you know." Jared gestured. "But hey, good idea. Bet some of that would cheer you right up, huh? Carpe diem, my friend. You fall off the horse, you get right back up again."

"You make it sound so simple."

"Hey, if I were a chick, and vaguely drunk, bordering on tipsy, and between boyfriends, I'd totally do you. Probably. If you asked me nicely. Provided no better prospects were around."

"Thanks, buddy," Peter said.

Jared frowned. "That sounded a lot more complimentary in my head."

"It was okay. I mean, safely heterosexual."

"Maybe." Jared's expression was still dubious. "You didn't respond according to the bro code, though. I mean, if I were a chick, would you do me? What about if _you_ were a chick? Don't just take, man. You gotta give me something back here."

"Would I have hot, lesbian sex with you? Sure. What's not to like about hot, lesbian sex?"

"Um, the fact that you need two women and we're not?" Jared said. "Hot, sure. Lesbians, no."

"So you'd have sex with me if we were both women, or if only one of us was, but not so long as neither of us is one. Right. Glad we got that all cleared up."

Jared reached for his beer bottle. "Is that an offer?"

"Depends," said Peter. "Was that a preemptive rejection? Because I gotta tell you, brother, I am all through with rejection. Been there, done that, did not pass by the gift shop to get a free t-shirt."

"With a chiseled abs like yours, who can blame you?"

"Right?"

Jared sipped his beer. "I'm not saying we'd regret it in the morning. I mean, sometimes, a man's just gotta do what a man's gotta do, and sometimes what a man's gotta do is his best friend."

"Hey, between the hang-over and the clean-up, what's a bit of casual sex between friends?"

"Exactly. Just promise me one thing."

Peter grinned. "Don't worry. I'll still totally respect you in the morning. Remember, it's not about how big it is, it's about what you can do with it."

"Funny. And so original. I mean, no one's ever cracked a joke about my height before."

"Fine, fine, I'm sorry. Cheap shot."

"Damn right it was."

"So what's the promise?"

"No love songs," Jared said. "You're terrible at writing them, I'm terrible at listening to them - it's a win-win. Let's keep this nice and clean, yeah? Or naughty and dirty, but you get the point."

"Fine." Peter sighed. "Can't make a decent rhyme with 'Jared', anyway."

"Good. Thank you."

"Mind, I might be able to do something with 'Elmo'."

Jared rose to his full length. "You, sir, are going down."

"On you, right?" Peter smirked. "Sounds like a plan. Your room or mine?"


End file.
